Are you a pastor's wife? If not, who knows, you might become one soon. I didn't suspect--err, I mean "expect"--that I'd be one. So stick around and listen. If you are a pastor's wife, brace yourself for this dynamic revelation. Lo and behold! Pastor's wife--what "they" expect from you.
Who's "they"? They're the gods of your church. You know, those little demigods (greater than humans but definitely lesser than God) that many churches pet and cuddle and feed but they never grow. They remain tiny little gods all their lives. But they're powerful--they have small kingdoms in your church. They have subjects and turfs. Sometimes they form alliances. There...you recognize them now? Cute, aren't they? They tell you what they expect and what you should do.
They watch you. Whenever they see that you're not what they expect you to be, they call for an open forum with your husband and complain about you--but they smile doing that...at first. They say you, being a pastor's wife, should be like this and like that. And your children should like that and like this. They want you always visible and looking tired doing the ministry. Oh yeah, they make it look like a minis-tire-al work. And if you listen to them, your DNA will wear out faster and your collagen will dry out and make you look older than your age. "Losyang" is how we say it in our vernacular. "They" are out there to make you look older!
But what's a pastor's wife's job, really? Second Eves, you should know how to relate to your pastor's wife properly--and for sure, it's not anything like how demigods relate to theirs. A pastor's wife should submit to her husband. Period. That's her only job. It's not her job to run around the church doing errands for members, trying to please them, making them coffee, visiting them daily, or patting them on their backs. It's not her job to be always "visible" in church. She can opt to be invisible--and God has given her the talent to do so.
Being submissive to your husband-pastor means you maintain a genuinely healthy and robust spiritual life, nurture your Christ-like character, you constantly pray for and agree with your husband, you raise up your kids in godly fear, and you do your part well in being one flesh, really one flesh, with your husband in the Lord. You do these things and the Lord approves of you. Never mind the demigods.
I know the pressures of being a pastor's wife, especially if you're in a denominational church. Thank God that's all over now, because we're in a real Jesus church--the old has gone, the new has come. It's a whole lot different when your flock is all second Eves and Adams, pursuing after God's image and present move. No more "they."
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