Lot’s Wife Was Righteous

When Abraham was bargaining with God’s angels for Sodom and Gomorrah—pleading that God spare the 10 righteous people in the cities, if there were any—the angels said there weren’t that many. In fact, there were only 8 people who could have survived: Lot, his wife, two daughters and their future husbands. Indeed, there were less than eight.

Lesser than 8

But sadly, the number dwindled down to 5. Lot’s future sons-in-law just laughed off the matter about God’s angels destroying the wicked cities. You may be righteous now in God’s sight by his grace, but if you fail to pay attention even to the smallest detail of God’s now-Word—worse, laugh it off—you’d end up among the wicked—suffering their fate.

Sodom and Gomorrah were progressive cities, so Lot’s sons-in-law could not imagine how the cities were going to be destroyed. To them the cities were impregnable—probably just like how people today deem advanced cities in first world countries. “Hey, Lot, this is the life! Why be bothered by negative speculations?”

Lot’s Wife

Worse of all was what happened to Lot’s wife. It was just a matter of time—a few more steps to freedom—and she could have been saved. She probably thought a last look wouldn’t hurt. She sighed at having to leave behind all their life investments and life memories. It was in Sodom and Gomorrah that she and Lot met and started their lives together. It was there they raised up their children. And their lives in the cities were promising, what with the prosperity gaining in them.

But you shouldn’t give wickedness even a last look. Instead, you should disdain it altogether. You should be glad to be out of it all. You should be desperately hurrying away from it. But not Lot’s wife. Not even Lot himself. Lot was also reluctant to leave the prosperous cities. He wouldn’t have escaped if not for Abraham. God remembered Abraham and in his faithfulness saved his nephew.

One-Flesh Principle

Lot’s wife wouldn’t have any chance of being considered for salvation if not for the one-flesh principle of God. She would have been saved due to her believing husband [1Cor.7.14]. But God’s grace, in all its abundance and limitless nature, is also purposefully limited by God himself. You can never abuse it. God will never allow it. God’s grace serves your fallible but desperate obedience in a limitless manner (where sin abound grace abounds all the more), but not your reluctant compliance.

Yes, Lot’s wife had been righteous by grace at first due to Lot (and ultimately due to God’s faithfulness to Abraham). But her regret of losing her wicked past turned her into a pillar of salt. 

Peter's Radical Mother-in-Law

Imagine Peter's mother-in-law. She had a resigned fisherman for a son-in-law who had quit his job and business with his father, and who has decided to be fisher of men all his life, whatever that meant. On top of that, he'd decided to go with this other jobless guy whom the temple religious leaders had described as a heretic.

Talk about having a loser for a son-in-law. Would you give your daughter to this kind of man? Honestly? Don't even church people look down on folks who have no money, title, or jobs? Isn't the church also guilty of subscribing to the money value system of the world? Don't they applaud moneyed churches and despise poor ones?

Accepting people despite their low financial situation says a lot about your character. And I don't mean just talking with lowly people and fellowshipping with them. I mean, accepting them as family--and supporting what they do for a living. I don't mean bums and idle men who hate working. I mean men who work for Jesus even without much pecuniary rewards. Even most church people would hate having such men for family. Everyone's out for engineers and doctors and businessmen to familially connect with.

Yet, Peter's mother-in-law liked Peter. How do I know this? She let Jesus take her hand and heal him. She even served them right after. I don't think she'd do that if she had despised Peter and his leader Jesus. But the fact that she let them into her house, let my Jesus take her hand and pray for her, and served them later are all indicators that Peter's mother-in-law was a firm, all-out believer despite her son in-law's financial lack.

Other parents-in-law would have done the opposite--even Christian parents-in-law. How many have I seen belittling their sons-in-laws for the simple fact that they don't earn enough money and have subservient jobs. Receiving Jesus into your house during those days was nothing short of being radical. Even Nicodemus could only meet with Jesus at night.

The mom in-law could have preferred being treated by doctors. Consulting doctors would have been decent, and doctors always have a good reputation in society. It always sounds nobler being treated by a physician than just being prayed for by a pastor, which is often a poor man's option. But Peter's mom in-law chose Peter.

Consider also how she allowed believers to dig through the roof of her house to let in a paralytic by 4 young fellows. If it's true that it was her house (as some commentaries say), then only a radical believer could allow such things be done to her house--just to let in the sick to be healed by Jesus. A non-believer disappointed with her son-in-law who was a disciple of Jesus would have protested right off. She would have sent everyone out of the house pronto, and not without vexations.

We need more moms in-law like her---moms who'd support all-out even if it costs her house and reputation. Moms who'd really believe in Jesus with a radical faith.

"Your Desire is to Please Your Husband"

When man fell into sin in Eden with the woman, the woman got this punishment--"Your desire is to please your husband," [Gen.3]. Then immediately, it is followed by "he'll rule over you."

It's part of the curse--desiring to please your husband. Thus, I note often how battered wives, even if they hate their husbands so much that they want to curse them, still end up wanting to please their husbands. I've seen on TV battered wives who keep reconciling with their husbands even if the latter never show sign of changing or repenting. It's part of the curse.

It's not God's will either for battered wives to divorce their cruel husbands. Paul later discussed in his letter to the Corinthians that if the husbands sends the wife away, that's the only time they can be separated, but not divorced. All these are results of the fall; you either desire to please your cruel husband no matter the misery you're in because of him, or wait for him to send you away, but not divorce him.

Some opt out of the curse using their own efforts and file a divorce and do away permanently with their husbands. But that is just their own imagination. In God's eyes these wives are still married to their husbands though they've availed of the provisions of human laws granting them legal divorce. The laws of man can NEVER nullify the Word of God. If you opt to avail of legal divorce, that only complicates your negative spiritual standing with God, piling one sin after another.

Absolutely no divorce in God.

Now, if you're married to a cruel and terrible husband and you're a believer (cruel and terrible husbands are sure to be non believers no matter if they profess to be believers or go to church every Sunday), you suffer more for it for life. That's the consequence of disobedience. Non believers also suffer the same consequences, but somewhat in a milder form. When you're faced with a decision to follow Jesus or your cruel husband, you'd be hard-pressed because you carry the curse ("your desire is to please your husband") but your mind carries the burden to follow Christ. I've seen this so many times in churches.

What's the Point in All These?

Well, the point is to show single women in Christ that marriage is something serious. If you don't obey Christ and opt to do things your way, you'd surely suffer the martial curse. Good if you find a genuine believer who is all-out desperate for Jesus. The curse will work in your favor. You see, if you're fully surrendered to Jesus, He works everything for your good. But there are many fakes in church--they seem to be Christians and know the church lingo, but their hearts are far from Jesus. You marry one of them and you're buried terribly in the curse all your life.

Is there a way out?

Things started wrong can NEVER end up being right somehow. Jesus said, what is born of spirit is spirit and what is born of flesh is flesh. The flesh cannot end up being spiritual later on. Well, it can change for some good--but never count on it. If you married a fake and he's really a devil in disguise, and then let's say he meets Jesus and really receives Him in his heart as Savior and Lord, then he might (I say "might"!) turn out to be less than a devil. He'll probably change and be a smaller demon in your life. But again, don't count on it!

Well, sometimes, these fakes turn out a bit better than being smaller demons. They may also become good Christians--church goers faithful to their denominations but never being sensitive to the Spirit's leading. In other words, at best, you're going to get a religious Christian who's madly in love with church programs and church works, but not with Jesus. Sure, he'll have some remarkable (but temporary) character changes, but never a total life transformation. And then you'd find yourself desiring to please such husband all your life.

Tsk, tsk---what a tragedy. What a spiritual potential lost!

But what if you had been totally obedient to God and married God's best? You'd get a loving husband and father all-out crazy and desperate for the real Jesus Christ in the bible. He's (at least) 10,000 times much better than fakes who later become somewhat Christian.

So, single second Eves, never fall for the wrong guy. Never fall for fakes, especially in church. Whoever you marry, your desire is to please your husband.

Get a REAL Christian! Look for the real Jesus, and you'd find the real Christian husband for you.

A Wife's Roles in the Family and Church

Though the apostle Paul wrote clear instructions for wives in Christ about their  roles, controversies still rock their supposed roles in the family and in church. It's still asked, what's the wife's roles in the family and church? Hebrews says we should leave elementary teachings behind and go on to maturity. This is one elementary teaching that keeps the church left behind as far as advancing glory is concerned.

First and foremost, wives are expected by God to live holy lives--or to let Christ live their lives for them. If they do this, they've perfected their roles in the family and church. They've pleased God to the max. They can expect being called good and faithful servants. It's really as simple as that--living holy lives. If they seek to live God's life daily, prioritizing it, all the other roles will be added unto them. No sweat. No human effort needed. It's a promise.

But as it is, women's or wives' roles in the family and church have been made complicated. Man's ways always complicate things. God's ways simplify them--and empower them. Yet, church people have been preferring man's ways just to be "in" with modernity, and junking God's ways. Some church women are even involved in so-called women's rights issues, and who's-head-of-the-family and stuff like that. But let's not take it to that level. Let's just talk about women's church involvement.


Women have become too busy in church. The church has got to have this and that, and we women have to be there to see them all happen--and make sure they happen. Why? All of a sudden, God has become a God of activities, as if the thing that will delight him are our church activities and special occasions. We have forgotten that God cannot be pleased except by faith. And faith cometh by hearing the Word of God, not church activities.


How deep are we in the Word? 

Then there are the thousand and one expectations of the church from the pastor's wife. They say she needs to be like this and that. She needs to wear certain styles of clothing, be more friendly, and put on a little make-up and jewelry to be presentable--all of which are nowhere in Scriptures. What the bible insists is to live holy lives in Christ, being submissive to the husband as the church submits to Christ.


How submissive are we, really, to our husbands?

No matter this simple admonition, many women in church still prefer complicated roles. They want to be this and that. They need to do things that will put them in the spotlight. It's not anymore how you live but how you perform in the public's eyes. It's the time you spend on stage rather than in God's presence.

A wife's roles in the family and church should be simply summarized in this: Having Christ formed in them in increasing measure so that they do not live any longer but it's Christ who lives in them. Nothing more, nothing less.

If Christ is seen in them effortlessly (through the Word becoming flesh in them), their families will shine with them and their churches genuinely blessed through them. Their roles in the family and church automatically radiates to full bloom.


The genuine role for women and wives in Christ is just to be deep in God and his Word and live the Word daily in awesome glory. If we can go back to simplifying things like that, that will be powerful! That will turn the world upside down for Jesus.

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Cain's Wife

"Cain lay with his wife," says the bible. I wonder what went through her mind as they made love. How do you manage to live with a man who is under God's punishment?

Cain was hidden from God's presence, a restless wanderer, a wanted man, and he went out from the presence of the Lord [Gen.4]. I cannot imagine a worse life scenario. He "restlessly" wandered on earth, aimless, and yet this young woman found him attractive. Why?

Well, I really shouldn't be surprised at what Cain's wife did--falling in love with an accursed man. I mean, just look at a lot of young women today, sleeping with men before marriage and preferring live-in arrangements than be wed before God. That, too is being accursed, and many go for it and the world sees them as smart and "mature." Some even consider it a miracle from God. 

Thus, I can imagine what probably went through the mind of Cain's wife--being herself a resident of Nod where Cain settled down. Cain found her there, and Nod meant "wanderer." People there must have just wandered around, trying this and that,  going here and there, looking for what worked and what didn't, trying out their luck. God could have given the place its name, or it was probably what Cain called it. 

Imagine this guy, son of Adam and Eve--very first couple God created and lived and talked with, first hand model of God's very image and likeness, activated to life by God's own very breath! Wow! Cain must have carried such appeal! Outward appeal takes precedence over character with some women. 

I can also imagine Cain's life ambition and daring. He was a city builder [4.17]. He was an enterprising, business-like, go-getter of a man. What young girl from Nod wouldn't fall for that? He was determined to make it big. And most women fall for such type even today. "This man will be a good provider, and he is the key to my material success!" Even in church, materialism is a big factor in   courtship--how much does he make? What's his job? What's his position in the company? What's his ambition?

Honestly, if a guy were like Abel today, nothing else in mind except how to please God, with no other earthly or material ambition, we'd probably reject him in courtship, even violently, like hacking the guy to death in our hearts as Cain did. Honestly, what would you prefer, a janitor who's a desperate God-seeker or a lawyer or engineer who attends church?

You see, a man God cursed can be so, so successful in life. Cain built a city! That's a gross achievement. What a success! You'd get everyone's praise, even probably the church's if you're that successful. They'd pray for you and declare that God's on your side for being so prosperous. Wealth and possessions can blind to the max. 

Indeed, Cain was able to build not just a city but a whole race. His clan were accomplished livestock farmers, musicians, and industrialists [4.20-22]. They were so successful there didn't seem any sign of Cain being accursed. Cain's wife had been right after all. 

However, this was very far from the truth. Wealth and possession can be very blinding, as we have earlier said. Cain's family may have been prosperous but they were rottenly poor in character and morals. This can be gleaned from Lamech's attitude. He will kill (or killed) a man just for wounding him [4.23]. Then he bragged about being avenged more than Cain would have been. They were a clan of taking vengeance in their hands for the slightest offense against them. You think you can live with such people?