House Finances Management

It's the everyday, ubiquitous, challenge--making ends meet. I wonder why there's no college course on housekeeping, especially on House Finances Management. Well, there's a subject on Home Economics, but it's not as detailed as it should be to enable moms to deal with daily realities.

Anyway. The usual issue is having enough for daily travel fares and meals--that's what house finances management is all about. Working from home (or at home) is still not a popular option for most people, and thus, in Manila, transportation allowance and meal expenses take up most of the budget pie--more so if there are 4 to 5 members per household. It's a good thing phone, Internet, electric, and water bills come only once a month. 

So, how do we deal with these expenses? Well, it should be simple enough--reduce the times of going out. Is that possible? Not if you are employed. And chances are, you are. And this means you have to subtract from your weekend family dates; you'd have to spend most weekends with the family at home. Okay, what else?

I think we have to start seriously considering working online at home. It can be done. Anything can be done. It was unthinkable for women to be employed decades ago, much less to occupy top corporate positions. But today it's no big deal. It's just a matter of getting used to it. So why not pioneer it, for better house finances management?

The thing is to do it gradually. Continue your present job while devoting some time to starting your online job or business. Give it 6 months to a year, at least 3 hours a day. Start with monetized blogs. As the thing picks up, get ready to quit your offline job. I've ascertained that some guys earn $5000 a month just doing online blogs at home! Here in Manila! You hear that, Second Eves?

 

You pull that off--earn good money online by working at home--and you get quality time with family and do whatever you want. Spend vacation anytime! That's powerful family bonding. This works even well if you're in a church ministry. And just imagine how this would help you get more quality time with God and his Word! As it is, employed people spend a minimum of 12 hours a day for work, counting the traffic going to and from the office, preparation, and overtime. Then they spend 6 to 8 hours for sleep. No more quality time with God and the family. See?

 

All that has got to stop! And for us lower middle class who cannot afford a decent offline business ($500 or $1000 isn't enough), online livelihood is a good option. Monetized blogs and websites in particular. When money starts pouring in, it would be an effective house finances management. Okay, second Eves?

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Career Moms and House Dads

Decades ago it was unimaginable, but today, it happens to lots of families--mom has a job but dad stays at home to cook; career moms and house dads. So what happened here? Well, more companies have been hiring women lately, especially in sales and marketing, because women seem to easily get in more sales than their male counterparts. Some insist, it feels more comfy talking to a woman about corporate stuff.

And then, as women mature in the corporate world and gain insights, they later try going solo and build up their own businesses and succeed. Meanwhile, more men get trapped into the hiring bias and find themselves with no other place to hide than the home kitchen. Now, what happens next? More families have career moms and house dads. Is this good or what?

It's what. Just kidding. Well, it's good, as long as there's money coming in for the family and there's enough food on the table. To second Eves and Adams there's no problem here. But to some, there is. Not just the roles of dad and mom change but the relationship as well. In some families, moms take the wheels and decide how to run the family while dads become the backseat drivers. The problem sometimes with career moms and house dads is that mom becomes the head of the family.

Regardless of who brings in money and provides for the family, dad should be head of the family and mom submits to him in all things. No matter if dad now washes the dishes and cooks he still should decide for the family. What God has established must continue so that the family is preserved for God. It's not a big deal, really, for women to work and men to stay at home. What is, is when dads become bums at home and mom still have to do chores when they get home from work.

Stay-home dads who cannot find work can try working online instead. Like in my husband's case, unable to find work, he started working online about 4 years ago. He started with a job online and then progressed to doing a business online through Internet marketing. He works at home and washes dishes sometimes--not all the time because we can afford a house helper, by God's grace. He instructs the helper on cooking and other chores. 

 

Though I'm a career mom, I look up to my husband and submit to him in all things as the head of the family. Well, I'm looking forward to joining him someday soon in his online business so I can dwell more on studying God's Word daily, for the rest of our lives! Second Eves should have this desire, too.

Listen up second Eves! 

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The Best Marriage Success Key

Is there a thing as Marriage Success Key? Then what is it? Well, it has to do with Eve being taken out of Adam's ribs. Listen well to this, second Eves.

While being sedated with spiritual anesthetic, God got a rib from Adam and turned it into Eve. Nope, that's not just fantasy--it's a fact, and it's the truth. It actually happened. So, the fact is, woman came from man. That's the marriage success key. What comes from man becomes man with a "wo." When Adam saw his by product, he was so astonished that he cried, "Wow, man!" And thus, the word "woman."

To simplify, we second Eves should remember that we came from our husband, as it were. We have the job of being one flesh with our husbands--of being like them. Same DNA, so to speak. We should become like them. We move into their world, until the time comes when we get to be comfy with what they do and what they like. When this happens, submitting to them in all things becomes a piece of cake. 

No, it's not necessarily a "Men's World" that we're living in. It's also a women's world. But we have to put things in their proper places so that the marriage success key would work. There are proper conditions for it to work as designed.

I note that marriages with problems where the wife finds it difficult to submit to the husband are those where the wife enjoys a different world than what the husband enjoys. The husband likes sports while the wife loves seeing concerts. Or, the wife has her own company of friends, and so does the husband. They always have different schedules for the day. With this scenario, it's unlikely that wife submission is going to happen on a daily basis. It goes against the marriage success key.

But if the wife acculturates into her husband's world, submission is easy. Why? Because what he likes she likes. What she likes he likes. Why does it have to be the wife who'd have to give in? Because it's ridiculous to see a husband being tamed by the wife to submission. Often, this situation produces a gender problem in the minds and personalities  of their offspring.

Now, while the wife submits, the husband should love her more. And this means the husband, too, should acculturate himself into the world of his wife. This way, it will be much easier for the wife to submit to him. If the wife likes sightseeing, the husband should initiate sightseeing trips now and then. But remember, the acculturation should being with the wife and complemented by the husband. This is the best marriage success key!

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Looking for Your second Adam?

Looking for your second Adam (the perfect husband)? You've got to look for the Second Adam first. Then you find him! It's simple, but many young ladies fail here. Here's why.

Many marriages today fail--even at the very outset. Sad (sigh!). Even so many Christian marriages just suddenly disintegrate, just like that. Because the Kingdom principle is so easy and simple, sophisticated humans just ignore it. They prefer complicated things---they think that the more complicated, the more it'll work. Thus, you hear partners say they're enjoying being in bed together, but marriage is something they're still talking about. As my hubby would say, "BWAHAHAHA!"

Now, let's talk about you---are you looking for your second Adam? You should look for no one less than your God-assigned second Adam. It's that or nothing. A "second Adam" is a guy who's so, so, so in love with Jesus he's mad about being like Him--even getting His spiritual DNA! And God has assigned each marrying woman one second Adam---if you just know where to look! If not (sigh!), it's a pity!

But first things first! You should be genuinely madly in love with the Second Adam first---my Jesus. That makes you a second Eve. Then God gives you your second Adam---necessarily in that order. You can never chance upon your second Adam if you bypass the first two steps. And I urge you; don't just settle for some "Christian" guy. Today, it seems that even crooks out there claim to be a "Christian" guy attending some Christian church. You better watch out! Ask the second Eves. They know what I'm talking about.

Here's the key: While "searching" for Mr. second Adam, you also really should not look for him. Instead, seek first the Second Adam and all these things (Mr. second Adam included) shall be added unto you. It's a sure Kingdom formula. Busy yourself with the King, then he will wonderfully lead you to your king---because Jesus is the King of kings. 

Here's a sure mystery: Did you know that even before your ancestors were born---fact, even before the world was created---God had already decided who your second Adam would be? And ever since, God has been preparing you both---so that at the right time, He will arrange for your meeting. The reason you haven't met your second Adam is, you're both still in the molding process. So don't hurry. Take your time. Enjoy the King. The King wants everything perfect in His own time. Join the second Eves.

How about you---you who think your husband now is not the one meant for you. You think your hubby is not your second Adam? Well, it's not too late. God can arrange something for that. Nothing is impossible for him. But first, fall madly in live with the Second Adam, and be a second Eve. Then God can turn your hubby into a second Adam! Just imagine joining the second Eves and Adams!

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Pastor's Wife: What "They" Expect from You

Are you a pastor's wife? If not, who knows, you might become one soon. I didn't suspect--err, I mean "expect"--that I'd be one. So stick around and listen. If you are a pastor's wife, brace yourself for this dynamic revelation. Lo and behold! Pastor's wife--what "they" expect from you.

Who's "they"? They're the gods of your church. You know, those little demigods (greater than humans but definitely lesser than God) that many churches pet and cuddle and feed but they never grow. They remain tiny little gods all their lives. But they're powerful--they have small kingdoms in your church. They have subjects and turfs. Sometimes they form alliances. There...you recognize them now? Cute, aren't they? They tell you what they expect and what you should do.

They watch you. Whenever they see that you're not what they expect you to be, they call for an open forum with your husband and complain about you--but they smile doing that...at first. They say you, being a pastor's wife, should be like this and like that. And your children should like that and like this. They want you always visible and looking tired doing the ministry. Oh yeah, they make it look like a minis-tire-al work. And if you listen to them, your DNA will wear out faster and your collagen will dry out and make you look older than your age. "Losyang" is how we say it in our vernacular. "They" are out there to make you look older!

But what's a pastor's wife's job, really? Second Eves, you should know how to relate to your pastor's wife properly--and for sure, it's not anything like how demigods relate to theirs. A pastor's wife should submit to her husband. Period. That's her only job. It's not her job to run around the church doing errands for members, trying to please them, making them coffee, visiting them daily, or patting them on their backs. It's not her job to be always "visible" in church. She can opt to be invisible--and God has given her the talent to do so.

Being submissive to your husband-pastor means you maintain a genuinely healthy and robust spiritual life, nurture your Christ-like character, you constantly pray for and agree with your husband, you raise up your kids in godly fear, and you do your part well in being one flesh, really one flesh, with your husband in the Lord. You do these things and the Lord approves of you. Never mind the demigods.

I know the pressures of being a pastor's wife, especially if you're in a denominational church. Thank God that's all over now, because we're in a real Jesus church--the old has gone, the new has come. It's a whole lot different when your flock is all second Eves and Adams, pursuing after God's image and present move. No more "they."

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Eve's Mistakes: Marriage Warnings

Eve's mistake was to listen. 

Women have lots of good ideas. My husband always listens to what I have to say. In times when he's too busy with the PC to listen, I make him--with his permission, of course. But women should be careful what still small voice to listen to when they try to cook up ideas to share with their husbands.

It was a grand time to be living in Eden. It was the perfect spot on earth to be spending time alone with the perfect man and the perfect God. It was perfect! When everything's perfect like that, it's when most women get a lot of smart ideas. Smart ideas come from either your right or left--you "hear" them being suggested to you. And God willed that two sources of ideas were present in Eden--the tree of Life and the other called knowledge of good and evil. 

It's okay to hear ideas from the tree of knowledge, but one of Eve's mistakes was to listen. Listening is hearing, weighing, and deciding. Then it results to either buying or trashing the idea. Eve bought it and bit into it.

So how do you know what to buy and what to trash? Simple. If you're someone soaked in God's Word in the bible, you'll know. Eve knew but she stopped to listen to the wrong idea. She entertained the "prospects" of trying just how good (or bad) was the fruit--though she knew for certain that, "God did say we shouldn't eat it."

Oh, you will hear voices. It's not just the schizophrenic who hears voices. Normal people do, too. And the voices are either guidance or temptation. If you want a good and happy marriage, Second Eves, you have to distinguish well between the two--and make sure you pursue the guidance thing. Say, everything's going perfect, then suddenly a voice to your left suggests, "How about bringing up that subject to your husband now that he's in a good mood? You know--the one that so pissed him off before?"

It's okay to hear something like that. But to listen to it (Eve's mistake no.1), and to bite into it and tell your husband about it (Eve's mistake no.2) is detrimental to marriage. If you know for certain that it pissed him off before, why bring it up again? This seems obvious, yet I see too many couples fight over this kind of argument--which is often started by wives. Second Eves, being in God's present move, you should know better than that!

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Husbands Love Your Wives. Oh Yeah?

Husbands love your wives. It's easier said than done. But really, it's easy--if we allow God to do everything for us. Second Eves should get this, most especially Second Adams.

The church has been under attack with broken marriages and families--even marriages and families of ministers. And they just shrug their shoulders about it, hoping the problem would go away. I see many ministers with problem marriages and children, but they give these things little attention, saying there's no perfect marriage and family--that no one is perfect. And I'm tired of hearing these lame excuses because they're not what the Lord says in his Word.

The solution all depends on this: Husband love your wives. Then, wives submit to your husbands. If this is not fulfilled then everything else fails. I've seen marriages that manage to stick around for years, but are nonetheless rotten--because the wife doesn't submit to the husband in all things, and the husband loves the wife just a bit. And they think this is good enough. This is for fallen Adam and Eve, not for second Adams and second Eves.

Remember that Paul likened marriage to the relationship of God and the true church. How should the wife submit to the husband? As how the church should submit to God. How should the husband love his wife? As how God loves the church and gave Himself for her. So, good enough is not enough. It should be perfect, because God is perfect, and the true church is a glorious church, without spot or wrinkle, or any other blemish. The true church is a perfect church. 

Husbands love your wives. It all begins there. And this will only work out if both parties are fully surrendered to God, the Author of marriage. Okay, second Eves?

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Hegai: Do you have a Hegai in Your Life?

Do you have a Hegai in your life? Hegai knew the king so well. He knew the king's taste, preferences, wants, needs, caprices, mindset, moods, and highs and lows. In fact, Hegai was well acquainted with the king's heart and mind. Hegai was close-in eunuch of the king. He was always in the king's presence.

Esther pleased Hegai. This was crucial. You didn't get any chance with the king unless you pleased his close-in eunuch. Hegai knew just what the king wanted and needed. So, if you wanted to please the king to the max, Hegai was the man to give you the vital tips. He knew how you should look and smell and talk and move, and things like that for the king. 

And because Esther pleased Hegai, Hegai immediately gave her the keys to success--the needed "beauty treatments and special food." Yeah, the Word says "immediately." Do you have a personal Hegai in your life? One who is a close-in and personal confidant of the King of kings, and who really knows the King's heart and mind--His needs,  wants, pleasure, preferences, moods, will, and things like that?

There are many fake "King's eunuchs" out there who are just as lost as their clients. They parade their titles and degrees and mega churches and beautiful programs and sermons but don't know a thing about pleasing the King. If you fall victim to them, you'd never get your rare chance to be let into the King's private chamber. 

That's why a lot of church people have to shout all day when they worship. They failed the test and are not allowed to remain in the King's chamber. They are there outside his mansion, in the courts, where they shout to be heard. They never get past the "enter His gates with thanksgiving" and "enter His courts with praise." 

Entering the gate and courts are important, but merely staying there all day, everyday, and each worship service is not. The real goal is to be with the King in His private chamber, in His Throne Room, forever. To get past the gate and courts, God's way teaches that we need a spiritual Hegai, a genuine discipler, a true faith father, a spiritual man of God, who knows the King well--and in fact has the King's spiritual DNA.

Do you have a spiritual Hegai?

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Esther: A Year of Beauty Rites for the King

A year of preparation for one fateful night. That one night, Esther must win the king's heart, or else...

The survival of the Israelites depended on the turnout of that night when Esther was to go into the king's private chamber and please him. It was crucial. One wrong move, one wrong detail, spelled disaster of a monstrous scale. That one night.

The church is like that, being the bride of the bridegroom. The main difference is, the church should go into the King's chamber not just one night--but stay there forever, beginning now. If one night took 12 months of painstaking preparatory rituals, what more staying there forever to be with the King?

Esther took 6 months to soak her body in myrrh oil, conditioning her skin and cleansing it of impurities. And then spent another 6 months soaking in special perfumes and cosmetics, letting the delicate fragrances permeate her whole body. All these, just for the king. I wonder; how do we prepare to meet with God in worship? Or rather, how do we prepare daily for Him?

Wearing special clothes and expensive attire is out of the question. Only blind fools would think of it this way. Paul saw it as dressing modestly--with decency and propriety. And this meant more as a life covering of good deeds, "appropriate for women who claim to worship God." Twelve months of good deeds--deeds in line with God's will and Word. And this is for meeting with God for only a night. 

Women of faith--or Second Eves--should understand the implications of Esther's life to how the church should meet with God--and likewise do this to their husbands, who were originally created in God's image. That's why Sarah called Abraham her lord. If we are going to stay in God's presence daily, we are to spend half a day soaking in holiness, and another half of it in God's Word. The Word is the perfume and cosmetics that give us the look and smell of Jesus, because only Jesus is approved to God. And to God, we are the aroma of Christ (2Cor.2.15). 

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Woman is the Glory of Man

Man was created in the image of God, and woman in the image of man. Your husband derives glory from you, as God derives glory from man. You help your husband pursue his God-like image and glory if you enrich your spiritual life. And a major part of this is submitting to him totally, in all things. You do this--supporting your husband's glory in God--and this adds more to your glory, too. Because you were created in your husband's image. Submitting to your husband is worth more than all the church activities and programs you can do. Woman is the glory of man.

When you submit to your husband, your husband is empowered to give glory to God. And this adds tremendously to your husband's glory. When you submit to your husband in all things, your prayers together multiply to the 100th power--that's more powerful than 100 nuclear warheads and powerful to demolish the gates of hell. Because woman is the glory of man.

There is a grave misconception about pastors' wives. Church people think she must be very active in church and church programs. She must be very visible. If she is so, they say she's a good pastor's wife. And this misconception have been going on for centuries--to the disadvantage of the church. First and foremost, pastors' wives should understand that they are Second Eves. As Second Eves their utmost and only duty is to submit to their Second Adams. Even their children come only second to this. Eve was created to fully support Adam--"an able helper." Because woman is the glory of man.

Thus, in the beginning, it's vital for a believing woman to find a man who's really in line with the Second-Adam plan of God, a true man of God---so she can fully submit to him in all things. Problems pop up and mushroom the moment this principle is broken. Then we find couples with rotten marriages "serving" in churches, making them the worst place on earth to spend spiritual life in. Man's and God's glory is marred.

Remember, wives, that the only thing important in life is God's glory. And woman is the glory of man who gives glory to God.

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